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BricolaQ Blog (diary)

BricolaQ(http://bricolaq.com/)の日記 by 藤原ちから

About The Dairy of A Woman In A Port(港の女日記について)

· This diary is a record of long-term artist-in-residence of "A Woman In A Port". This record will be also a part of the project.
· The primary purpose of this diary is for my memorandum. Therefore, some encryptions and fictions may invade here.
· This diary will be written irregularly. The past and the future may intersect. So In fact, THIS IS NOT A DIARY.

The Diary of A Woman In A Port 3

I really enjoyed wonderful days in Dingalan with some artists. We are always eating, drinking, swimming, singing, dancing, talking and of course sleeping. So, despite the attractive women for my project, we didn't have good timings and I couldn't interview them. For example, I couldn't ask a girl why she put a cool tatoo of an octopus on her right shoulder...
But it's OK, I got many materials and seeds for the future.




The 2nd music party was finished by sudden strong rain before the climax. But people accepted this destiny. They seemed so happy. Me too.
In a ban to Manila together with Rosell's family, we were talking a lot and playing some games which use our imagination. "If we go to the moon..." etc. etc. Sometimes we imitated B's voice. Who is "B"? Yah, he is my love-machine teacher.
B often says "O-key... Chikara-san, she looks so cute... Don't you think so?"
I always reply "Ahh...................Yes po."
Madam Rosell gave me a lot. I could find many opportunities in this Dingalan trip. And from now, I'm sure that we will develop our relationship STEP BY STEP.



After this trip, I went to my favorite drinking place which is called "Flying House" on Malingap, Quezon City. Almost Sipat Lawin Ensemble members came there for me (except Meira, but I met her few days ago). I was so happy. But Sarah said, "OK Captain, at first we should talk about our work. And then, let's go party." Oh my gosh. She is so clever......!
Sarah (of course clever), Yenyen (See looks like funky crazy but actually clever) and JK Anicoche (Looks like crazy, inside also crazy) suggested me a Spanish word "puerta". This word will be very important key word for "A Woman In A Port".


I used Uber to the airport. At first the driver seemed silent, but after super heavy traffic, suddenly he opened his mouth. He asked me "If someone ask you something, please don't tell them anything about Uber. I'm your neighbors friend. OK?" After some conversations, I understood the situation. He was afraid of LTFRB (Land Transportation Franchising and Regulatory Board). In his opinion, he is regal, but sometimes at the airport the drivers face to difficulty by LTFRB. I promised him that I become his neighbor's friend. I explained to him. "I am not an actor. But now I will become an actor for you. Ok, I'm your neighbor's friend." 
He had been to Roppongi because his mother worked there. The phrase of "Japan" sometimes knocks the Filipino's memories.










The Diary of A Woman In A Port 2


I was waiting for the bus at the terminal in 7 hours. 7 hours...? It was also like a ceremony, might be the suffering of Holy Week. Despite this terrible congestion, all Filipinos were not irritated. There were only few attendants and police men, however they formed a gentle order to care for each other. Crowd, trashs, pollution, strong sunshine... They accepted everything. I followed them because they seemed respectable. But on the other hand, I thought "Why am I suffered like this heavy experience? I don't have any families in this country..." Besides, my laptop has broken in this 7 hours celemony. Maybe I was a monk. Finally I felt my spiritual level had gone up a notch.







After this experience and more 6.5 hours trip, I met him at Dingalan. I know, he is the "ex-xxxxx". I'm convinced because he is a very attractive guy. He said "Nice to meet you. You are a good dancer, aren't you? I heard." ...Okey, I drunk some Red Horse and then I jumped into some groups of shy local young people. Mary Jane's songs inspired and pushed us. Surely I heard the sound "the wall" breaks, and everyone began to dance freely. What a crazy night. He watched my DANCE and said "Grabe siya!"


On the 2nd day I was gifted the grace of God. After the good morning conversation (including about "A Woman In A Port"), we got on 2 boats and swam in the Pacific. Actually this was the first time swimming in the Philippines for me. In the secret cove under a lighthouse, I found a cancer's corpse. He died, but his soul may be watching such a beautiful world.




The mother and the young sister of Ness came from their province. They gave me a masalap baked cake and a bottle of Lambanog (local liquor of Dingalan). They are very gentle and looks like family. Of course? What is family? They are one of the answers.
After the dinner together with the mayor of this town, his bodyguard told me his story a little. He was working at a shop in Ueno in 7 years during 80's-90's. So he can speak Japanese well. But I couldn't ask him what kind of shops.
In the night, I went to a beach and listened to sounds of waves under the moon. There are many stars in the dark sky, but I didn't know how to find Cancer. In the legend, Cancer was trampled by Hercules' foot. He was defeated to the hero by his compassion to his friend. But as the courage was appreciated, Cancer became one of the constellations.
In the distance, a lighthouse was flashing. I guessed there was the cancer's corpse underneath. That will soon be erased by winds and waves.




The Diary of A Woman In A Port 1


Last night I spent the unsettling night. Is it due to fatigue? It may be caused by air pollution in a long way jeepney from Antipolo to Cubao.


A woman asked me, “Why are the Japanese skins strong?" I answered, "It depends on each person." And I told her the following facts. There were also serious pollution in Japan like Minamata disease or Yokkaichi asthma…etc. Only the names of those pollutions are listed in the textbooks of elementary schools. But just names...

Why did I talk this to her? Because Japan is a “pioneer" who reflected on its negative history? ...... No way.


In my student age, I mentioned a shallow idea. "Human beings can learn from history, so we become smarter by accumulating histories." At that time, a teacher who were always gentle got very very angry with changing his face to red. Now I can understand the meaning of his anger.




Maybe there is loneliness under the human skin. When uber's car rocked, she began to lean on my shoulder. If she did it, I may have decided to commit to her loneliness more deeply. But I was afraid that. Perhaps she also felt so.


However, in the Philippines, you know, it's a daily matter that skinstouch each other. Affectionate hug. Close body contact in a crowded jeepney. Sweaty skins are often touching.


Words are also. Filipino exchange their moist feelings through conversations from every morning until every night, or from dusk till dawn. Even if I’m alone in a town, I can feel that easily.




Well, In the past few days, I received some invitations for sexual massage. To be honest, some of them upset my heart, but eventually I declined them. I’m not here to extend the black history lying between Japan and the Philippines. I will access this history in some ways. Not to continue but to create new future.

However, it was a fact that I wanted a real massage. No sexual massage. But my favorite massage shop was no available because the slot was full… Perhaps I should have filled this blank with a fake massage.. OK. Now in the Philippines, we are in Holy Week. I can endure my suffering.


Nevertheless, tonight the massage shop is also full. People are always seeking some skin contact. C'est la vie. Mabuhay...!

































最近、身体の健康のことをよく考える。少しずつ死に近づいていく友人の日記を読み、わたしは生きなければならない、と思った。生きたい、ではなく、生きなければならない、と感じてしまったのがつらいところだ。この世界には楽しいことがたくさんあるのに、なぜわたしはそれを享受しようとせず、何かの義務感のような形で人生を捉えようとしているのだろうか。愚かなことだと思う。しかし愚かなことだ、と一蹴できないくらいには、様々なしがらみや業のようなものを引き受けてしまっている。立場的に。では、立場、とはなんだろうか? それは本当に捨ててはいけないものなのだろうか? TPAMが終わった次の日に、わたしはネスとラルフと長い時間を過ごした。我々はホッピーを呑み、デュッセルから来たチェルフィッチュを呑み(あ、修正、キレピッチュです!)、城崎から届いたにごり酒を呑んだ。いい時間だった。心からやすらいだ。わたしが今後「家族」と呼ばれるものをつくるかどうかはわからないけど、彼らはまるで家族のようだった。いや親戚くらいの距離感ではあった。まあいい、別に名前なんてつけなくてもいい。早くマニラに行って、彼らに再び会って、あの太陽を感じていたい。
もうすぐ岸田國士戯曲賞の選考会があり、わたしも同時刻に予想を「演劇最強論-ing」で発表する。今回はノミネート全8作がウェブで公開されたので、徳永さんとの予想対談を読む人の目もそれだけ厳しくなるかもしれない。逆に、ああ、なるほど、上演と戯曲はこう違うのか、とか思ってもらえるのかもしれない。何にしても、矢面に立つということは一定数以上の批判に晒されることになる。3月は公開の場でのトークもいくつか引き受けてしまった。これもまた批判に晒されるということだろうか? 楽しい会にしたい。なぜなら、人と人が顔を合わせて集まり、言葉を交わすということは、素敵なことであり、今や、貴重なことだと思うから。


















Monday. Melancholy time has passed. Now I’ve become to access German feeling a little.


(by Google Translation based on English...) Montag. Melancholische Zeit ist vergangen. Jetzt habe ich Zugang zum deutschen Gefühl ein wenig.






Sunday. I went to the Friedensdorf international in Oberhausen. Harm of wars hurt bodies of children. However they continue to live. I got vigor from the children. Writing of “ENGEKI QUEST” was advanced very much.


(by Google Translation based on English...) Sonntag. Ich ging in die Friedensdorf International in Oberhausen . Harm von Kriegen Leichen von Kindern schaden. Doch weiter sie leben. Ich habe Kraft von den Kindern. Das Schreiben von "ENGEKI QUEST" war sehr fortgeschritten.







Saturday. I went to Errer, but that was not so well. I couldn’t grasp the charm of this town (however I like there). In the evening, I drunk a lot with my nice friends. It was good refreshment!


(by Google Translation based on English...) Samstag. Ich ging zu Error, aber das war nicht so gut. Ich konnte nicht begreifen den Charme dieser Stadt (aber ich mag es). Am Abend habe ich viel mit meinen netten Freunden getrunken. Es war eine gute Erfrischung!







Friday. I went to Benrath as a field work. 


(by Google Translation based on English...) Freitag. Ich ging nach Benrath als Feldarbeit.











Thursday. The pre-event of Nippon Performance Night was held. My interview was published on Doitsu news digest... Surprised.


(by Google Translation based on English...) Donnerstag. Die Vorveranstaltung der Nippon Performance Night fand statt. Mein Interview wurde auf Doitsu news digest veröffentlicht... Überrascht.








Wednesday. There are various bankruptcy in a city. They are traces of human living.


(by Google Translation based on English...) Mittwoch. Es gibt verschiedene Konkurs in einer Stadt. Sie sind Spuren des menschlichen Lebens.









Tuesday. I found a secret play spot of teenagers. I don’t hope to fill my solitude.


(by Google Translation based on English...) Dienstag. Ich fand einen geheimen Spielpunkt von Jugendlichen. Ich hoffe, nicht meine Einsamkeit zu füllen.










Monday. The day in which "the wall" of Germany has disappeared. I was walking around in a village. About melancholy. About crossing above languages.


(by Google Translation based on English...) Montag. Der Tag, an dem "die Mauer" von Deutschland verschwunden ist. Ich war in einem Dorf herumlaufen. Über Melancholie. Über oben Sprachen kreuzen.